Mortal Kombat: XXXTreme Beach Volleyball
by David T
Summary: A parody of both MK and the DOA spinoff series. The ladies of MK are invited to a tropical island for a holiday. Cue bikinis, volleyball and 'maybe' some martial action...


MORTAL KOMBAT:

**XXX**-TREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL

**DISCLAIMER: **_Midway owns MK and all characters within this story. Except one or two._

**Chapter****One: Arrival**

"**W**elcome to MK Sun'n'Fun Island, ladies!" the annoyingly shrill female voice bellowed from the various brightly coloured loudspeakers adorning the golden-sand-covered island. "We hope you enjoy your stay!"

Sonya Blade: blonde haired, blue-eyed, high kicking commander of the Outworld Investigation Agency, looked at her garish invitation for the hundredth time as she stepped off the boat. _Why the hell did I come here? _she thought, mentally slapping herself.

A few days before, she had received an invite from the MK Corporation to stay at an island resort with some of the other kombatants for a vacation, and a break from all the fighting tournaments. There was a five-star hotel, sports facilities, casinos, blah, blah... Basically the type of shit that attracts tourists and... that's about it. However, in what must have been a moment of weakness, she told herself she _would _go and maybe try to have some fun. God knows she worked hard enough keeping Earthrealm safe that she deserved a break. But this place? And with other _kombatants? _Sonya was having serious second thoughts as to the likelihood of enjoying this little break.

Still, maybe it would be good to get to know some of the other fighters. When you're busy smashing your fist into their face or concentrating on kicking the living shit out of them, there's not a lot of time for 'So, where are you from, originally?' and 'I love that outfit! Is it ethnic?' On the other hand, Sonya was always ready for a fight. Any funny business, _especially _from any of those Outworld bitches, she would start throwing punches.

"Grrr! What a crappy reception! Who the hell bought me this stupid-ass phone?!" a loud voice yelled, startling and causing her to derail her thought-train. She looked over to see a petite, Asian girl with flowing black hair, wearing a rather skimpy pink leather ensemble and yelling into a pink cell phone. Sonya instantly recognized her from when they had taken down the Deadly Alliance a few months back... God, what was her name? Leela? Latasha? Lulu?

"Excuse me! Do you know whom you are talking to?" the girl-whose-name-began-with-L (maybe) continued yelling into the phone, becoming visibly agitated. "I am LI MEI! I am one of the most successful models in the whole damn world! Are you even listening?"

That was it! Li Mei. For a model from Outworld, the girl could fight. Not that Sonya had ever fought her, but she had seen her in action and had subsequently impressed her. But she hadn't seen this side of her...

"Okay, listen, you snotty bitch! I don't care who got me here, or who invited me, but I do not want to stay! Got it?! So tell him that- hello? Hello? HELLO?!!!" Li Mei growled again and shut her phone off, steam practically puffing from her ears.

Why the hell would she want to stay on some common little island with a bunch of hoes she'd spent the best part of a week slapping around to free her peeps from the wrath of Quan Chi and Shang Tsung? Answer: she fucking didn't!

_I could've been in the Bahamas or Barbados or Italy of that cute little realm with all the hot guys but no! I'm stuck here with a bunch of rejects that looked like they've come out of some videogame! _Li Mei fumed silently, trying to count to ten. It was no use. She was stuck here for a week. A whole _week. _No one had better piss her off unless they wanted a kartwheel kick in the face!

**P**rincess Kitana wasn't very impressed with the island. Not that it wasn't pretty; it was quite lovely. But the fact was that Edenia, her home, was one of the most gorgeous, serene, breath-takingly-beautiful places in the universe, and therefore it was hard to impress her. Still, she was looking forward to this. Despite being a master warrior, Kitana hated fighting and violence, and looked forward to trying to make peace with her fellow fighters.

Standing tall with a mane of long, dark hair, pale skin and wearing a simple blue dress, Kitana looked like the perfect princess. A princess that could kick your ass as soon as look at you, but still...

She was disappointed that her mother, Queen Sindel, had declined her offer to join her on the holiday but being the ruler of a realm was a busy job and she didn't really have time for a break just now. So, Kitana was on her own. Well, not exactly alone...

"Kitana, I know you're a princess, but would it kill you to carry a damn bag?!"

Kitana turned to face Jade, her companion and long-time friend. Dark-skinned, green-clad and exotically gorgeous, Jade was also a fierce fighter with a fierce temper. And sometimes she could be a bit of a slut, but that was another story. (Years of acting as a slave for the deceased Shao Khan had had a lasting effect on Jade, and she had picked up a few... 'naughty' habits).

"I'm sorry!" Kitana apologised and quickly took a couple of bags from Jade. "How come the guards didn't take them? No one else is carrying their own bags."

Jade huffed and puffed, blowing loose hair from her face. "I thought I should keep an eye on your stuff, seeing as how it's all extremely expensive, not to mention irreplaceable. You know how your mom gets when you ruin your good dresses!"

Kitana shook her head and sighed loudly. "For goodness' sake, Jade! I'm over 10,000 years old! I think I can take care of my own luggage."

"Feel free, as long as I don't have to carry it," Jade muttered, placing a false smile on her face. The smile dropped as she caught sight of someone she _really _didn't like. "Oh, God, what's that bitch doing here?"

The 'bitch' she was referring to was none other than the traitorous Tanya, a white-eyed, olive-skinned, curvaceous warrior who could never seem to decide whether she was working for the good guys or the bad guys. Problem was she could fight well and was a good help to whichever side she was under the employment of (it depended on what mood she was in).

She was standing under the shade of a tall palm tree, wearing her trademark yellow and black one piece with matching thigh-high heels and arm gauntlets. Pretty much her fighting costume minus the low-hanging skirt. Tanya pretty much dug the whole gothic-whore look. Well, if that thick, black eyeliner/shadow/mascara was anything to go by...

"Jade, I don't know why you can't just resolve your differences with her," Kitana said. "I have."

The green clad ninja snorted. "Oh, what_ever!"_

**A**s if having only a half-beautiful face wasn't torment enough, Mileena was now stuck on this island with a bunch of bimbos in bikinis! She was royally pissed off, and not _just _because her sister (and nemesis) Kitana was there. She was really annoyed because she was very self-conscious about her appearance, and in order to try and fit in, she would have to show a little skin and (oh, God, the _horror_) be civil to the others.

It turned the evil assassin's stomach at the thought of it, but it would be necessary. It could even be viewed as a new form of training, like torture survival. It had been centuries since Mileena had passed that class way back in Outworld!

_Yeah, that's it, _Mileena thought. _But if _anyone _asks about the mask, I'm gonna fucking shred them!!!_

Her thoughts were interrupted as someone bumped into her. Mileena turned towards the offending person and growled. Standing in front of her was a young, white girl with striking red hair and hard-looking features.

"Sorry," the girl muttered. "The sun got in my eyes."

Mileena sighed, and gave her 'the look.' "Be more careful next time - in fact, make sure there isn't a next time! Got it?"

"Yeah, loud and clear," the girl said. She walked away from the creepy lady in pink and mumbled to herself, "Crazy bitch." This girl was Kira, warrior of the Black Dragon Clan. She was as tough as they came, and was one of the most likely trouble-starters on the island.

But when you put such a mix of MK ladies in a confined space (of sorts) to play volleyball, we can only expect trouble, can't we???

_Please R&R!!! Apologies for any mistakes or errors!_


End file.
